There are 4 Stress Response Patterns: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn

Your Relationship Roadblock Pattern Type is:

The Wise Woman (Reframe Response)

The Wise Woman has moved away from stress responses and reframes unhealthy conflicts into healthy ones, allowing for a deeper connection with her partner.

She builds her house instead of tearing it down with her attitudes and words. When conflict arises, she uses her voice to ask for what she wants and gets her needs met.

She utilizes her new communication skills to elicit a positive response from him, feeling heard and understood. She is fully committed to the couple’s relationship and owns her power.

She remains in her sparkly bubble, only picking up her suitcase. She sets beautiful boundaries and stays connected with her values and beliefs, finding more peace within herself and her life as she becomes a Wise Woman.

 

The Reframe Response has both Strengths and Weaknesses

Strengths:

Effective Communication: Skilled in expressing needs clearly and respectfully.

Emotional Intelligence: High ability to understand and manage her own emotions and empathize with her partner’s feelings.

Conflict Resolution: Adept at navigating disagreements constructively and finding mutually satisfying solutions.

 

Weaknesses:

High Expectations: May sometimes expect similar levels of communication skills and emotional intelligence from her partner, which can lead to disappointment.

Over-Responsibility: There’s a risk of taking too much responsibility for the relationship’s health and dynamics.

Balancing Act: Maintaining this level of wisdom and composure can be challenging, especially in times of personal stress or external pressures.

 

ACTION PLAN

 

The “reframe” response is about changing the way you perceive a stressful or challenging situation, altering your perspective to view it in a more positive or manageable light. This doesn’t mean denying the reality of the situation but rather finding a constructive way to approach it. It’s about shifting focus from what you can’t control to what you can, and seeing potential growth or learning opportunities in challenges.

Recognize the Power of Perspective: Continue to recognize the influence of perspective on your reactions, integrating a deeper level of empathy by actively considering how others might see the situation.

Identify Negative Thoughts: As you identify negative or unhelpful thoughts, use this as an opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth, questioning why these thoughts arise and how they might be linked to unresolved issues.

Look for the Silver Lining: This point remains focused on finding positive aspects in challenging situations, but also involves understanding your partner’s perspective, especially in areas of consistent disagreement.

Focus on What You Can Control: Along with focusing on controllable aspects, use advanced conflict resolution techniques to navigate uncontrollable elements, like using non-violent communication to express needs and feelings without causing defensiveness.

Practice Gratitude: Maintaining gratitude can be enriched by acknowledging not just personal blessings, but also the positive aspects and strengths of your partner, fostering empathy and connection. Using the Gratitude challenge would be a great tool to integrate. 

Use Positive Affirmations: Positive affirmations like our Belief Building Affirmation Deck to reinforce empathy and understanding of others, especially your partner who may not be at the same skillset as you are.

Seek Different Angles: This involves not just considering different perspectives but actively learning about emotional-focused therapy techniques or other advanced listening skills to better understand and empathize with these viewpoints.

Embrace Change as an Opportunity: View changes as chances for personal growth and improving your relationship. Remember you may fall back into bad habits and acknowledge, apologize and keep practicing.

By focusing on these areas, “The Wise Woman” can continue to grow and adapt her communication style, further enhancing the health and satisfaction of her marital relationship.

 

BREAKING YOUR PATTERN

It’s important to check in with yourself, even if you’ve got that high emotional intelligence. Remember, it’s all about empathizing with your partner and meeting them where they’re at. Finding that middle ground is key to a thriving relationship.

And here’s the bonus – as you continue to build and grow together, you’re not just strengthening your bond but also leaving a beautiful legacy for your children. So, keep nurturing that connection.

To continue learning about improving and having even better communication with your partner, I invite you to check out Relationship Restoration Accelerator.

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Stacy Peasall

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