There are 4 Stress Response Patterns: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn

Your Relationship Roadblock Pattern Type is:

Battle Betty (Fight Response)

Meet Betty, a warrior in her own right. If there’s conflict, she can and does go toe to toe. If it is a battle she is not going to lose.

When conflict arises, she’s in the front line, ready to defend her ground. For Betty, surrender is not an option. Her battle cry is, “I’ll not be controlled or dominated.”

Yet beneath that armor of strength lies a tender heart, yearning for a partner who’ll treat her as an equal and join her in the trenches of marital work. Sometimes, she feels more like a solo guardian than a partner in love.

Ideally Betty’s focus needs to be on  how to take back her power and stand in your feminine energy without dipping into the masculine. When she does that she will see the battles diminish and connection flourish.

Change is crucial for Betty; otherwise, she might find herself in a different kind of battle—one where walking away becomes the only option.

 

The Fight Response has both Strength and Weakness

Strengths:

Assertive: Strong in voicing opinions and standing up for herself.

Engaged: Actively addresses issues and doesn’t shy away from challenges.

Resilient: Demonstrates emotional strength and perseverance.

 

Weaknesses:

Escalation of Conflict: Intensity can lead to increased tension and arguments.

Emotional Vulnerability: Underlying wounds may impact interactions negatively.

Risk of Alienation: Confrontational approach can push others away and shut down communication.

 

ACTION PLAN

 

The fight response is a key part of our body’s innate “fight-or-flight” mechanism, which is triggered by a perceived threat or stressful situation. This response is deeply rooted in our evolutionary history, where quick reactions were essential for survival in the face of immediate dangers.

Recognize Your Fight Response: The first step is being aware of when you’re starting to react with a fight response. Notice what triggers this reaction and how it feels in your body and mind. If you are not certain what your triggers are then you would benefit from journaling or using a tool like our Communication Habit Builder. It’s an accountability tracker that also has a list of common triggers like lack of emotional support and stress-related family responsibilities. 

Practice 5-5-7 Deep Breathing: When you feel overwhelmed, try taking 3 slow, deep breaths. Breathing in through your nose for 5 seconds, hold for 5 seconds and exhale out your mouth for 7 seconds. This can calm your nervous system and help you think more clearly.

Reflect on the Impact of Your Words: Before responding in a heated moment, think about how your words might affect the other person. Ask yourself is what I am going to say helpful or harmful? This reflection can help you choose a more constructive approach.

    Express Feelings, Not Frustration: Try to express what you’re feeling underneath the anger or frustration. Often, there’s something deeper like fear, hurt, or disappointment.

     

    BREAKING YOUR PATTERN

    It’s important to recognize that when you raise your voice or try to take control in a conflict, your partner might react by shutting down or fighting back. When you let your emotions take over, it can actually escalate the conflict.

    So, during a disagreement, try taking a few deep breaths. If you find it hard to speak calmly, it’s totally okay to let your partner know that you need a break to cool off and gather your thoughts. Communication is key, and taking a step back can help keep things on track in your relationship.

    You are taking action, instead of falling back into your pattern. This is the first step in breaking the pattern.

    For more on how to break this pattern and better communication with your partner I invite you to check out Relationship Restoration Accelerator.

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